It's Okay Not To be Okay - Mental Health Awareness
I will admit, today I have a fallen a little. I've had a lot going on - I wrote my book which bought up a lot of feelings for me, ironically pretty much immediately afterwards some other things happened which pronounced those feelings further.
I have then been putting my heart and soul in to trying to get my kickstarter campaign funded so I can carry on the process of publishing my story but it's been hard. Really hard!
It's been pretty much a full time job to get it to half funded where it currently is but i've exhausted everything and it's halted (also thanks to facebook and their ban to posting in groups for a week) and i've ultimately been left with the feeling of "why did I bother?" "No one is interested" "This is just a pipe dream".....you get the picture and with all of the other things i've crashed.
I've put so much in to it all that I am now tired and deflated.
I have sat watching netflix for the majority of the day (which is not like me - i'm always working on my etsy shop or one things or another) Ive eaten a lot of cookies, I asked my partner to go and collect my daughter from school because I didn't want to face people, I told my Nan I would phone her and I haven't and I've just felt heavy.
I could easily sit and beat myself up for it, I have that dialogue in my head saying that i'm rubbish. BUT I also know that it will pass.
it's okay not to be okay, it's okay to lose steam, it's okay to be tired and not want to see anyone for the day and just recoup.
In the past I would start here and carry on further down. That will still happen at points in my life I am sure but most of the time now when I feel like this I know it's okay, that I feel this way because of x,y,z . That I've crashed after a wave of activity that comes in waves with having bipolar disorder , that will fizzle out and then i'll be okay again (and this will happen again but that's okay too)
I guess my point is we have to TRY and be gentle on ourselves. When you have a mental illness these times will come, and then they will pass and I have most certainly found that acknowledging that process has helped me. Accepting it's there and knowing it will pass.
Don't try and force yourself out of it or beat yourself up for not doing or being what you "SHOULD" ..... Should's are bad and they make us feel bad about ourselves.
You are okay as you are, how you are feeling if you're having a bad day today is okay.
Most of all YOU will be okay!
Remember, so far your success rate of making it through bad days is 100%
Self awareness and self care in mental health are important.
Being kind to ourselves and realising that it is okay not to be okay is an important step.
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